Welcome to my site, IF I PROVIDED YOU THE SITE ADDRESS, OKYKARL, THEN I WANT YOU TO CONSIDER BEING MY ARTIST'S MODEL
(I wanted you to see some of my work before I mentioned this because I am not that good and need much work),
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED,
I PAY $100.00 AN HOUR.
THEN
Please upload photos or videos with your information (why you want to model, what is your inspiration, etc.) directly to: okykarl@hotmail.com
(Type OKYKARL as the subject.)
This site is under construction constantly and I am ALWAYS seeking fresh faces for my inspiration ART to FOLLOW...but first a few excerpts from a play a friend and I wrote several years ago, just had a re-read and liked it so much it is now here:
“THE PRACTICE GIRL”
Written by
Karl August
and
Brian Sanders
[Company Name]
FIRST DRAFT
[Address Street]
3/31/2009
[City, Province, Postal Code]
[Telephone]
"THE PRACTICE GIRL"
BLACK CARD
FADE IN:
INT ART CLASSROOM
College students are filing in finding seats among a disarray of easels and desk chairs.
Among the group filing in are Alice and Zoey, deep in quiet conversation.
In the background of the mélange, Brian slips in through the door and sidles around the back of the room to the most distant chair available, far from Alice, Zoey and the gaggle of guys trying to sit close to them.
ALICE
(To Zoey)
I see “slim and studious” just refuses to pay you court.
ZOEY
(To Alice with a quick glance toward Brian)
(Delivered in her best southern accent)
Whatever are you talking about?
ALICE
Uh huh, and you think it’s shyness?
ZOEY
(Somewhat nervously)
I just don’t think he’s interested, that’s all.
ALICE
He’s male, so he’s either gay or interested.
ZOEY
Ok, so he’s gay. But definitely NOT interested.
ALICE
He’s not gay, he doesn’t dress that well.
ZOEY
He dresses nice enough.
ALICE
The only area I’ve found gays to be prejudice in is fashion, and he’s NOT gay. Gay men don’t go out of their way to avoid you, they embrace you. In fact,
(glancing at the group – gay and straight- surrounding Zoey)
they are like scavenger dogs hoping for seconds on your leftovers.
ZOEY
Whatever.
ALICE
So, either you have done something to make him really hate you, or it’s love.
ZOEY
He doesn’t even know me.
ALICE
True, so that rules out possibility number 1. Could be, he’s not the only one with a “schoolgirl” crush.
ZOEY
(Blushing wildly)
He is kinda cute.
(Smiling)
Art teacher approaches the front of the room. Class quiets.
TEACHER
As I told you earlier in the year, we will be drawing live nudes. I realize there is a room full of college students and I am embarrassed to have to mention this but the school requires two things. First, if any of you object or fear you would be offended, or you wish to pose, you may excuse yourself from those class periods and the grade will not be averaged into your final grade. Second, please keep in mind that, for the most part, these are professional models, please, treat them with respect.
ZOEY
(Leaning toward Alice)
Here’s your chance,
(whispering)
slut.
(smile)
INT GIRLS ROOM
Opening sequence shows clothes flying and a frantic Alice trying to find something to wear. Finally, Alice emerges dressed.
ZOEY (OS)
Oh no, you are not wearing that
ALICE
Why, isn’t it cute enough?
ZOEY
Ok, you just met this guy and
(pause)
no need for conversation; why not just invite him back to your room and save the suspense?
ALICE
Gotcha!
(as in “ha ha”, not as in “I understand”)
Alice begins pulling on a pair of jeans underneath an extremely short skirt while giving Zoey a very wicked smile.
ALICE
(Alice laughs)
Zoey grabs the nearest pillow and hurls it towards Alice knocking over and nearly breaking a lamp.
ZOEY
You are incorrigible.
(Glancing at her watch, indifferent to the near destruction of the lamp)
If you want to meet him then you’d better get going.
ALICE
We
ZOEY
We? We what?
ALICE
Well you are at least going to walk me over there; it will give you a chance to pass out some flyers for your art,
(pause, repeating with the air quotes)
art show.
INT HALLWAY
Camera movement as if walking down the hall loud banging and muffled cursing, followed by sounds of broken glass.
Camera perspective moves from kitchen to garage.
INT GARAGE
Jack, 22, is standing amidst fragments of shattered glass and splintered wood.
Brian enters the garage observing jack demolishing yet another picture frame, with picture still intact.
BRIAN OS
Feel better now?
JACK
No, but it’s a start. I don’t know why I even bother with these girls.
BRIAN
What happened?
JACK
Oh Elise is just stupid, that’s all. She’s too controlling … guess she’s just really insecure … really acting stupid ‘cuz I say Hi to some chick I know.
BRIAN
Who was the girl?
JACK
Can’t think of her name right now but … doesn’t matter anyway I had already decided to break it off with Elise.
BRIAN
Got someone else already in mind?
JACK
You know me. I can get any chick I want.
BRIAN
Man, wish I was like that with girls, hell; I can’t even talk to one.
JACK
(Imitating the skipper on Gilligan’s Island)
Don’t worry little buddy, ‘ole Jack here is going to take you out and show you some moves. I know a special place. Lots of babes. You’ll be good as me in no time.
(pause)
So, I take it mom let you in? (Concern showing on Jack’s face.)
BRIAN
Yeah, the dad’s gone.
(relief showing on Jack’s face)
The mom showed me in, said she was heading off to work and that you were cleaning up the garage.
(Both laugh)
JACK
Yeah, she knows better than to stick her head in when I’m working in the garage.
BRIAN
(Looking around and picking up a broken picture)
So, who’s this?
JACK
That’s Debbie, thought I’d give her another chance after I dumped Elise but she was asking all sorts of stupid questions about my not going to counseling, another stupid … I mean it’s none of her business anyway and my dad says if the court asks, he’ll tell them I couldn’t go ‘cuz I had to work helping support the family.
BRIAN
So, you got a job, great.
JACK
No, dimwit, I said that’s what my dad would tell them, you paying attention or what? Hey why don’t you make yourself useful and grab a couple of brews from the fridge?
BRIAN
(Returning with two beers from the fridge in the garage)
Here.
INT BAR, CLUB, SOME PUBLIC PLACE WHERE MEN GO TO PICK UP WOMEN,
Jack and Brian sitting at a table (fade back to expose McDonalds)
BRIAN
Now, what do I do?
JACK
How many times do I have to tell you? Go over to that chick over there…
BRIAN
Why her?
JACK
She’s obviously is in need of some male companionship and unless I’m mistaken, you are male, just what she needs.
(Smirks)
So, get over there and say your line like I told you.
BRIAN
Can I watch you do it first?
JACK
Now, that’s really stupid, I use the line on a chick, then you use the same line on the same chick, even females aren’t that stupid.
BRIAN
So, I say, “Hello beautiful, can I buy you a Coke?”
JACK
No, no, no and no, it’s “Hello beautiful, I’ll let you buy me a Coke”. You don’t go to the store, give them money and then see if there’s something worth buying … lesson number one, lesson number one, remember lesson number one?
BRIAN
Yeah, never spend your money on a girl unless you’re getting what you pay for.
(Wincing in disgust)
Got it.
INT GARAGE
Jack returning with ice in a ziplock bag he took out of the fridge in the garage
JACK
Here, put it on and hold it, I know its cold but it’ll keep the swelling down.
BRIAN
Next time don’t pick one who can hit so hard.
(Grimacing as the ice is placed on his head)
JACK
Go home and get some rest. You just need to practice that line a little, I’m telling you, it’s foolproof. It isn’t easy being me but the effort will pay off.
INT GIRLS ROOM
Clothes being picked up, looked at, sorted, hung up, taken down, tried on, just a “clothes-trying-on-fest”, getting as much cleaned up as messed up, during which, conversation ensues…
ZOEY
So, how did it go last night?
ALICE
Another chocolate bunny, but, I shall survive.
ZOEY
Chocolate what?
ALICE
Sweet and pretty but empty on the inside. Hello? Chocolate bunny? It’s ok, I met someone new anyway.
ZOEY
Since your date last night?
ALICE
Actually, yesterday, when I was coming home from class.
ZOEY
And I see you didn’t bother telling me.
ALICE
You know me; I only focus on one guy at a time. I’m loyal that way.
(Both laugh)
INT GARAGE
Both boys cleaning and straightening.
JACK’S DAD OS
(Screaming)
And when you get that mess cleaned up, get the oil changed in the truck before you go anywhere.
JACK
I’m telling you; soon I’ll have my own place and won’t have to put up with this crap…
BRIAN
(Interrupting)
So, you’ll be getting a job?
(Snickering)
JACK
Don’t start with me; you don’t want a piece of this today.
(Continuing)
It’s not my garage, it’s his, all he does is sit around in his “whitey tighties” drinking beer all day and watching TV and he expects me to clean it and keep the fridge stocked just because I’m staying here for now.
BRIAN
Well,
(hesitantly)
it is your mess…
JACK
(Cutting him off)
What’s that got to do with it? When your parents have house guests over does your mom stand at the door saying
(in a posh English accent)
“No, no, no, you cannot go until you’ve washed your cups and straightened the cushions on the couch?”
BRIAN
Good point, I’m beginning to understand.
EXT PARK BENCH
Brian sitting alone on park bench studiously writing.
ALICE OC
…so we’ll meet up later and I’ll fill you in.
ZOEY
You sure you feel safe with this guy; you know what kind of creeps you’ve met in the past.
Brian hears Zoey’s voice and begins writing furiously.
ALICE
Hey, I’m a great judge of character.
ZOEY
Oh, you find lot’s of characters to judge all right.
ALICE
I don’t see you with Prince Charming, oh wait,
(Glancing toward Brian)
slim and studious, there he is now.
Alice begins walking toward Brian.
ZOEY
What are you doing?
ALICE
I need to leave you somewhere close by and that seat is available.
Brian sees them approaching and furious turns into nervous scribbling.
ZOEY
Hey, I’ve got flyers I’m supposed to be passing out.
ALICE
So, start passing. Now, here’s your chance,
(whispering)
slut.
(smile)
ZOEY
(Facing away from Brian)
I’ll be right here if you need me.
Zoey sits down still facing away from Brian as Alice walks out of scene.
JACK (VO)
Remember Brian, girls, much like dinosaurs, have the ability to sense the slightest movement.
Brian stiffens, stops breathing and sits very still.
(beat)
Zoey straightens her skirt.
(beat)
Zoey composes herself like she’s preparing for an interview.
(beat)
Zoey straightens her stack of flyers, all business like.
(beat)
Zoey casually glances over her shoulder at Brian.
(beat)
(beat)
Zoey leans away from Brian to get a better view and looks him up and down as a devilish grin appears on her face.
(beat)
(beat)
(beat)
Brian sits, still frozen in time.
Zoey turns her body toward Brian.
(beat)
Zoey leans up from bench and looks over Brian’s shoulder, invading his personal space.
(beat)
ZOEY
So, whatchya workin on?
Brian continues to sit very still.
ZOEY
Uh, hello?
BRIAN
(Turning very slowly toward Zoey)
Uh, hi.
ZOEY
(Still in his face, almost up on one knee, grabs his notebook.)
I said “Whatchya workin on?”
(Smiling)
Zoey demurely adjusts her dress realizing the whole world just saw her business and she gets comfortable on the bench.
BRIAN
I, uh, am working on a drawing.
ZOEY
(Looking intently at the drawing, ignoring Brian’s worried face)
Don’t I know you?
BRIAN
Yeah, I, uh, we’re in the same Art class.
ZOEY
(Looking intently into Brian’s face.)
Oh, you’re the boy that sits by himself in the far corner of the room.
BRIAN
I like to keep my art to myself.
ZOEY
(Handing pad back after turning all directions trying to make sense of it)
I can understand why.
BRIAN
(Temporarily forgetting that he is talking with a girl, he loosens up a little.)
No, this is just my warming up, it doesn’t count, I’M REALLY MUCH BETTER THAN THAT.
ZOEY
(Skepticism mixed with humor.)
Oh, OK. You sure seem nervous, is it me?
BRIAN
I, uh, am just, uh, sometimes I get nervous around girls.
ZOEY
Do you want me to go?
BRIAN
No, I’m supposed to be working on a paper, having trouble getting in the mood, the doodling was just something while I was thinking about what to write.
ZOEY
What’s the paper for?
BRIAN
Psychology.
(Panic sets in as he fears where the conversation is going to go, oh life is cruel.)
ZOEY
So, what’s the paper about?
BRIAN
People’s behavior.
ZOEY
Yeah, I got that, you did say Psychology, right; I mean that pretty much sums up the whole science.
BRIAN
Well,
BRIAN (VO)
What would jack do?
BRIAN
It’s a paper about the deep and profound experience of romantic relationships.
ZOEY
(Expressionless)
Got some experience in that area.
BRIAN
(Surprised)
Uh, well, uh …
ZOEY
Maybe I can help you with that
(beat)
later…
BRIAN
Uh,
(Choking, coughing, turning bright red)
uh…
ZOEY
(continuing)
but I have to get going, oh,
(handing him a flyer)
I’d love
(deep sincere look in her eyes at the word love)
you to attend my art show. Bye.
INT GARAGE
Broken glass again with splintered wood, both boys.
JACK
I’m telling you Brian, girls just don’t get it. They think guys just have a one track mind, that all we want is sex, HELLO, so, what’s their point, I mean the Bible says to go forth and multiply, HELLO.
BRIAN
Oh, I get it. Man how come you know so much about the Bible?
JACK
I tell you Brian, the Bible’s where it’s all at. Men ruling over women, yeah that’s what it’s all about. You know Solomon was the wisest man ever, well, duh, you’d have to be to have that many wives and not kill yourself.
BRIAN
(In awe)
Wow, I didn’t realize you knew…
JACK
(continuing)
One story says where two women were fighting and he told them he’d cut their baby in half if they didn’t shut up or something like that, imagine trying to do that today.
BRIAN
Yeah, even as a joke, they’d lock you up.
JACK
You just don’t get it, Brian, he wasn’t joking, this is serious stuff the Bible.
BRIAN
(Somewhat confused)
Uh, oh,
(New thought)
I got something to tell you about.
JACK
Oh yeah?
BRIAN
Yeah, it’s about a girl.
JACK
So, you met one finally?
BRIAN
Yeah, I…
JACK
(interrupting)
So you’ve been practicing that line, eh, told you it’d work.
(Big grin)
BRIAN
Well, actually…
JACK
(interrupting)
Like I told ya Brian, it’s not easy being me but you keep practicing and you’ll have all kinds of girls, gotta go.
Jack walks out of the garage through the kitchen door, turning off the light.
Brian stands in darkness, looks directly into camera an shrugs.
GIRLS ROOM, NOW NEAT AND ORDERLY
ALICE
So, how was slim and studious?
ZOEY
(Smiling)
He might be at my showing.
ALICE
The view I had, he was already at your showing.
ZOEY
You were spying on me?
ALICE
Just keeping you in sight (and what a sight) in case I was needed.
ZOEY
(Dismissively)
Whatever, I was on a mission, a task at hand, I was being focused.
ALICE
I realize you’re almost as much a free spirit as myself, which is why we get along, but even if you don’t care who sees your business, there are times when its not wise and having your skirt hiked over your … on your knees on the park bench … it looked like a miniature Tyrannosaurus attacking it’s prey…
ZOEY
(Cutting Alice off)
What?
ALICE
Just be more mindful where you show your stuff, I feel like my mom now, ooh, but, don’t worry, no one else saw and my date was facing me.
ZOEY
Tyrannosaurus?
ALICE
(Laughing)
Attacking, for sure, but not certain if it was food.
(wink)
ZOEY
(Playfully)
But I was wearing pretty panties.
Alice just shakes her head as the scene fades.
ART SHOW
Brian wandering alone, looking at art
BRIAN
(Under his breath)
Hey beautiful, I’ll let you buy me … uh
Zoey appears out of nowhere.
ZOEY
So, now you’re art and for sale at MY SHOW?
BRIAN
Uh, uh…
GIRLS ROOM
Again we see the girls with clothes flying through the air
ALICE
What you need to do is be his practice girl.
ZOEY
Excuse me?
ALICE
Don’t get ahead of me; he is nervous around girls, right? I mean, that’s his story anyway.
(Smile)
ZOEY
Right.
(Hesitantly but interested)
ALICE
You are a girl and he sometimes talks to you.
ZOEY
O…k…
ALICE
What he needs is practice talking to girls, or in this case girl.
ZOEY
Oh, so it’s not sexual, it’s to help him overcome his shyness.
ALICE
Right,
(Finally stopping throwing clothes)
which is why you’ll be wearing this.
(Revealing the skimpiest of Alice’s skimpy)
ZOEY
What happened to the talk about my lack of modesty?
ALICE
I suggest you walk very carefully and sit properly then.
(Smile)
EXT PARK BENCH
Brian sits alone on the park bench studiously writing, this time he is actually writing.
Zoey approaches, walking very carefully a bit self-conscious, even for her lack of modesty. (As a result, she approaches the bench and sits down without being noticed.)
Camera cuts to Brian and focuses on written work, back to include head shot as Zoey’s face appears out of nowhere.
ZOEY
So,
BRIAN
Ahhhaaahhhaaa.
Brian drops everything as he jumps off the bench.
ZOEY
(Looks sheepishly cute)
Uh, whatchya workin on?
BRIAN
(One look at Zoey and Brian’s heart fails)
Uh…uh…hi.
Zoey, forgetting about modesty, begins getting up to help a flustered Brian, who, at this time, is eye level with the bench trying to pick up his stuff without being obvious about looking up Zoey’s skirt while near death.
Both continue to pick up papers till all are gathered.
BRIAN (VO)
What would jack do? What was that line, Hey beautiful…
They both sit back down. Each holds some strewn paperwork.
ZOEY
You sure it’s not me? Are you really this nervous around all the girls?
BRIAN
I just don’t have a lot of experience … uh but I am trying to get some … I mean working on … talking to girls … uh
ZOEY
What about a girlfriend?
BRIAN
No, no girlfriend.
ZOEY
You’re cute; you should have lots of girls chasing you. No one has caught your eye?
BRIAN
Well, you know…
ZOEY
(Casually looking at papers Brian dropped as she organizes them for their safe return and one stands out)
Did you write this?
(Holding up a paper)
BRIAN (VO)
What would jack do?
BRIAN
Uh,
(In total shock)
ZOEY
It’s about a girl, its sweet and, I take it, you would love to be able to talk to her?
BRIAN
Uh, yeah.
ZOEY
Ok, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll be your practice girl and you can talk to me as if I were her and … have you ever been told you just need to practice?
BRIAN
Yeah, my buddy Jack.
ZOEY
Well, you tell him that Zoey thinks he is real smart.
BRIAN
(Stuttering and in Jack’s best voice)
Hey beautiful, I’ll let you buy me a Coke.
ZOEY
(Laughing)
Oh that’s rich, how about you buy me a Coke?
BRIAN
Uh, you really are
(feeling weak)
uh, beautiful.
ZOEY
See you can do it. So what else would you say to this girl?
BRIAN
That’s the only line I know.
ZOEY
(Laughing)
Is that a line your buddy, Jack, taught you?
BRIAN
Yeah.
ZOEY
Good, good, now let’s start with conversation. Most people would start with the approach but I find lots guys approach me and don’t have anything to say. If you have something to say, then the approach is easy.
BRIAN
What would I have to say to a girl?
ZOEY
Do you ever talk to guys?
BRIAN
Well, yeah.
ZOEY
Well it’s no different, than girls. What do you talk about?
BRIAN
Parents, school, sports, current events and um girls.
ZOEY
Well, the most important thing in conversation is to listen.
BRIAN
I thought conversation was talking.
ZOEY
Conversation is actually a feedback loop. It’s like an electrical circuit, if the circuit is open, no connection, then the circuit doesn’t work. That’s like someone not hearing the other one or someone not speaking, which actually are the same thing, if you don’t hear you don’t know if they spoke.
BRIAN
Wow, that’s good; do you have an analogy for a misunderstanding?
ZOEY
Yes, I do.
(spoken with somber conviction and smiling at the phrase “I do”)
A short. If there is a short, it’s like someone jumping to conclusions instead of waiting for the person to complete expressing their though.
BRIAN
Ok, not to sound sexist, but you surprise me.
ZOEY
(Smiling)
Thanks, do you like water?
BRIAN
Water?
ZOEY
Yeah, you know, it gets you wet.
BRIAN
(Blushing)
Yeah, I love water.
ZOEY
So, you tell me the difference in the water being off and a connection being loose.
BRIAN
Well, the water being off is like not hearing/speaking and the loose connection would affect the water pressure/flow so that would be like not getting all the information which is like an incomplete circuit, I get it.
ZOEY
Good, now what happens if there’s too much electricity or if the water pressure is too high?
BRIAN
Too much information, TMI (Laughing)
ZOEY
So, male, female, young, old, education, background even prejudices impact what you should say, just be careful, you could get burnt or you could get wet.
BRIAN
Sometimes, I get shocked, other times, I drown. And if there’s not enough water or electricity, you get bored.
ZOEY
Which is exactly why guys fail when they approach me and don’t have anything to say? So, speaking of things to say, tell me about her.
BRIAN
Well she’s really sweet, smart and awfully cute, in fact, wicked cute.
ZOEY
If she were sitting here right now, what would you say to her? Remember, the goal is to keep the electricity flowing, don’t just talk but give her reason to speak and stay away from both shocking her and trying too soon to get her wet.
(Smile)
BRIAN
Well, I could ask how her day’s going.
ZOEY
Ok, well, I am the practice girl…
BRIAN
Oh, ok,
(pause)
Hi, how ya doin?
ZOEY
(Screaming uncontrollably)
Leave me alone!!!
BRIAN
(Shocked)
Uh…uh…
ZOEY
(Laughing hysterically)
Now, I just told you, you could get shocked.
BRIAN
(Pissed)
What kind of sick person are you?
(almost to tears now)
ZOEY
(Leaning over to gently caress him)
Brian, it’s ok, it was mean and I had to do it, I didn’t want to, but the bastard writing this thought it would be funny.
(beat)
Brian, if you are going to use me as a practice girl, you have to view me as having all the same possible outcomes, good and bad, as in real life.
BRIAN
Damn you feel so good.
(caressing her in response)
INT GARAGE
BRIAN
So, where’d you have to go the other day? Just leaving me in the dark?
JACK
Cute.
BRIAN
So, Jack’s got a private side?
JACK
Just had to see a man about a dog.
BRIAN
A dog, you getting a dog?
JACK
Am I telling you? Do you hear me telling you where I was? What, are you turning into some female right before my eyes, trying to keep track of me?
BRIAN
Chill, I was just asking a question, don’t get so riled up. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s cool.
(beat)
By the way, I met a girl.
JACK
Yeah, you told me already. Are you getting senile now?
BRIAN
She called and left me a message to meet her later at the Blue Parrot Cafe.
JACK
Well, isn’t that nice.
BRIAN
Oh, and she told me to tell you that she thought you were smart.
JACK
She knows me?
BRIAN
No, she just told me to tell you that.
JACK
Let me get this straight, you meet a chick and IMMEADIATLY BEGIN TALKING ABOUT ME?
BRIAN
I was practicing your line on her and …
JACK
(continuing)
My line? Then you tell her “Oh, by the way, this line sponsored by Jack, don’t you think he’s smart?”
BRIAN
That’s not how it happened…
JACK
Hey, I gotta go, I’m late already. (Door slams)
Brian is standing in the garage as the light goes off.
BLUE PARROT CAFE
Brian standing in the doorway, squinting into a darkly lit room and sees what appears to be Zoey from behind. He approaches.
BRIAN
Hey, beautiful, I’ll let you buy me a Coke.
~ZOEY
Uh, do I know you?
BRIAN
(Realizing it isn’t Zoey)
Uh, I’m sorry; I thought you were someone else.
~ZOEY
Oh, are you Brian?
BRIAN
Yeah, sorry, uh, Yeah, I’m Brian, how’d ya know?
~ZOEY
Oh, I’m Julie, nice to meet you. So you’re a friend of Zoey’s?
BRIAN
I’m a bit confused…
JULIE
(continuing)
So, you’re not a friend of Zoey’s?
BRIAN
not about being Zoey’s friend, it’s just that I thought Zoey would be here, she running late?
JULIE
No, she’s not coming.
BRIAN
She ok? Why isn’t she coming?
JULIE
She told me you were a friend of hers and to tell you that something came up and she sent me here in her place so you didn’t have to dine alone. Should I just leave?
BRIAN
No, please stay, I’m sorry, just a little surprised, that’s all.
(Sitting down)
So how are you?
JULIE
Good, you?
BRIAN
Give me a moment for my heart to begin and I’ll let you know.
JULIE
So, how do you know Zoey?
(Taking a sip)
BRIAN
(Proudly)
She’s my practice girl.
JULIE
(Spewing)
What?
BRIAN
You know, prac-tice girl, she lets me practice with her.
JULIE
(Shocked)
Ok, I’m lost. You do what?
BRIAN
I’m sometimes shy around girls and she has me practice talking to her. It’s beginning to make it easier to talk to girls, like you, for example.
JULIE
Oh.
BRIAN
What did you think I meant?
(Grinning)
JULIE
Ok, you got me. That’s really clever, and you say, its working?
BRIAN
Well, I’m here and I didn’t run or pass out.
JULIE
Surely that’s not happened before?
BRIAN
Both. So, how do you know Zoey?
JULIE
Well, since she sent me here blind and stood you up …
FADE TO BLACK
INT GARAGE
JACK
Sorry about leaving you in the dark but I didn’t want to put my mouth on it.
BRIAN
Your mouth?
JACK
I had heard about a really great job, lots of babes, pays good and pays cash, cash is always good … anyhow I didn’t want to jinx it by talking about it.
BRIAN
That’s great, where at?
JACK
That’s really all I am comfortable saying for now, cool?
BRIAN
Yeah, that’s cool, so what will you be doing?
(Laughing)
Ok, let me tell you about this chick I met, or are you going to have to mysteriously leave again?
JACK
Ok, I deserved that, tell me about the little princess.
EXT BACK DOOR, ALLEYWAY ENTRANCE
Jack stands comparing the number on the door with a flyer in his hand which reads “HELP WANTED - NUDE MODELING – PAYS CASH DAILY” (and other text non-essential to be filmed)
Jack knocks on the door. A man in his mid thirties opens the door.
MAN
Yes
JACK
(Showing flyer to man)
Hi, I’m Jack, I came about the help wanted.
MAN
(Looking him over real good)
You’ve done this type of work before?
JACK
Oh, yeah, lots.
MAN
You have to be comfortable with nudity and over 18?
JACK
Hey, we’re all born naked, right?
MAN
Well, come on in and I’ll get your information and a uniform. Sessions last about 30 minutes and you get $20.00 a session.
JACK
Sounds great, $20.00 is good.
MAN
Here’s your uniform, we don’t want you to be just walking around naked.
JACK
(Laughing)
Yeah, that wouldn’t be so cool.
MAN
(Handing Jack a robe)
Here you go,
(points to a door)
you can change in there, choose a locker for your clothes and we’ll get started.
JACK
(Takes the robe and smiles real big)
Thanks, man.
MAN
And be quick we are setting up now.
Jack follows the man to a door down the hall.
MAN
Well, I’ll let you take it from here.
(Opens the door Jack steps through to lots of light.)
Jack walks through the door bathed in light and a women’s voice comes from out of the shadows.
WOMAN
Everyone, this is Jack and he will be your model for this session. My, aren’t you a cutie? Go ahead get comfortable and remove your robe.
Jack, trying to be controlled and professional disrobes and sits on a cloth covered tree stump in the middle of a large classroom, lights from front, left and right.
Alice moves from sitting to standing and exiting room.
ALICE
(Shocked)
Excuse me.
(In a quiet voice)
Excuse me.
Jack catches a glimpse of Alice as the light from the doorway illuminates her face. Stunned, he tries to glance around the room without moving his body, he sees Brian.
Brian sits stunned, not even realizing class was over, nothing drawn on the paper, Zoey approaches.
ZOEY
Hey, Brian, you OK?
BRIAN
(Snapping out of reverie)
I saw Jack naked.
ZOEY
Yes, we all saw Jack naked.
BRIAN
No, you don’t understand, that was Jack.
ZOEY
Yes, the teacher introduced him, and yes, he was Jack.
BRIAN
Zoey, Jack was Jack. My Jack.
ZOEY
What?
BRIAN
My buddy, Jack. Why was Jack posing naked?
ZOEY
And why did Alice leave?
BRIAN
Let’s go get some answers.
Zoey and Brian exit through the door.
EXT OUTSIDE ART BUILDING
Zoey and Brian walking as Brian spots Jack.
BRIAN
I’m going to check on Jack, find Alice.
ZOEY
Good luck, see ya later.
BRIAN
(Yelling)
Jack.
JACK
(Looking up and seeing Brian approaching)
I am so stupid Brian.
BRIAN
You OK?
JACK
I thought “Nude” meant naked female, like waitress is female for waiter and actress is female for actor, you know, naked is a male without clothes and nude a female without clothes. I responded to a help wanted thinking they needed help with nude females, I thought, great.
BRIAN
(Now looking at flyer)
So, what happened? Why did you go through with it when you realized what it was?
JACK
A while back, I was seeing someone, you know, on the side.
BRIAN
While dating someone else?
JACK
Yeah, that’s what “on the side” usually means. I wanted to get serious with her and she broke it off saying that I was fun but too stupid for her to want to be with on a permanent basis. I realize now that my acting like I know everything has been a joke and she was right. I didn’t want to stand in front of everyone and admit that I didn’t know something, but it cost me my dignity.
BRIAN
Jack, you didn’t loose your dignity, modeling is a respectable profession, and you really do have a nice body, you’re in great shape
JACK
(continuing)
No, not the nudity but Alice saw me and knows that I did it not knowing what I was doing and being too stupid to admit it.
BRIAN
Alice?
JACK
Yeah, she was the one that I had been seeing, evidently she is in your art class, and she walked out when she saw me.
Camera cuts to show Zoey approaching Alice. Alice stands with her head hanging down massive tears stream down her face.
ZOEY
Hey you ok?
ALICE
God, I felt so bad for him, he is so stubborn he wouldn’t even consider saying he was wrong or was there by mistake. I couldn’t take it.
ZOEY
Jack?
ALICE
Yes, Jack. We use to date each other on the side.
ZOEY
While dating someone else?
ALICE
Yeah, that’s what “on the side” usually means.
ZOEY
You never mentioned him to me.
ALICE
Yeah, somehow “secret” and “discrete” fit into the successful execution of “on the side”.
ZOEY
Got it, so what happened to the side order of Jack?
ALICE
I thought we were moving into an area where “on the side” was turning into “main entrée”. We had been discussing moving in together and he lost his job, due to a massive plant layoff, he was loosing his apartment and I was concerned about where he was going to live.
ZOEY
Sounds like "life happens" if you ask me. So, what happened?
ALICE
He mentioned another career course and I said he needed to get special training.
(pause)
He just got all upset, walked off and wouldn’t ever talk to me again.
Split camera as both couples walk into corner shot.
Both Alice and Jack start when they see each other.
Zoey and Brian stand very still, waiting to see what will happen.
JACK
Hi.
ALICE
Hi.
JACK
I’ve missed you.
ALICE
Me, you, too.
Jack moves toward Alice and they embrace.
BRIAN
(To Zoey)
Hello beautiful, I’ll let you buy me a Coke
ZOEY
(Smiles)
Written by
Karl August
and
Brian Sanders
[Company Name]
FIRST DRAFT
[Address Street]
3/31/2009
[City, Province, Postal Code]
[Telephone]
"THE PRACTICE GIRL"
BLACK CARD
FADE IN:
INT ART CLASSROOM
College students are filing in finding seats among a disarray of easels and desk chairs.
Among the group filing in are Alice and Zoey, deep in quiet conversation.
In the background of the mélange, Brian slips in through the door and sidles around the back of the room to the most distant chair available, far from Alice, Zoey and the gaggle of guys trying to sit close to them.
ALICE
(To Zoey)
I see “slim and studious” just refuses to pay you court.
ZOEY
(To Alice with a quick glance toward Brian)
(Delivered in her best southern accent)
Whatever are you talking about?
ALICE
Uh huh, and you think it’s shyness?
ZOEY
(Somewhat nervously)
I just don’t think he’s interested, that’s all.
ALICE
He’s male, so he’s either gay or interested.
ZOEY
Ok, so he’s gay. But definitely NOT interested.
ALICE
He’s not gay, he doesn’t dress that well.
ZOEY
He dresses nice enough.
ALICE
The only area I’ve found gays to be prejudice in is fashion, and he’s NOT gay. Gay men don’t go out of their way to avoid you, they embrace you. In fact,
(glancing at the group – gay and straight- surrounding Zoey)
they are like scavenger dogs hoping for seconds on your leftovers.
ZOEY
Whatever.
ALICE
So, either you have done something to make him really hate you, or it’s love.
ZOEY
He doesn’t even know me.
ALICE
True, so that rules out possibility number 1. Could be, he’s not the only one with a “schoolgirl” crush.
ZOEY
(Blushing wildly)
He is kinda cute.
(Smiling)
Art teacher approaches the front of the room. Class quiets.
TEACHER
As I told you earlier in the year, we will be drawing live nudes. I realize there is a room full of college students and I am embarrassed to have to mention this but the school requires two things. First, if any of you object or fear you would be offended, or you wish to pose, you may excuse yourself from those class periods and the grade will not be averaged into your final grade. Second, please keep in mind that, for the most part, these are professional models, please, treat them with respect.
ZOEY
(Leaning toward Alice)
Here’s your chance,
(whispering)
slut.
(smile)
INT GIRLS ROOM
Opening sequence shows clothes flying and a frantic Alice trying to find something to wear. Finally, Alice emerges dressed.
ZOEY (OS)
Oh no, you are not wearing that
ALICE
Why, isn’t it cute enough?
ZOEY
Ok, you just met this guy and
(pause)
no need for conversation; why not just invite him back to your room and save the suspense?
ALICE
Gotcha!
(as in “ha ha”, not as in “I understand”)
Alice begins pulling on a pair of jeans underneath an extremely short skirt while giving Zoey a very wicked smile.
ALICE
(Alice laughs)
Zoey grabs the nearest pillow and hurls it towards Alice knocking over and nearly breaking a lamp.
ZOEY
You are incorrigible.
(Glancing at her watch, indifferent to the near destruction of the lamp)
If you want to meet him then you’d better get going.
ALICE
We
ZOEY
We? We what?
ALICE
Well you are at least going to walk me over there; it will give you a chance to pass out some flyers for your art,
(pause, repeating with the air quotes)
art show.
INT HALLWAY
Camera movement as if walking down the hall loud banging and muffled cursing, followed by sounds of broken glass.
Camera perspective moves from kitchen to garage.
INT GARAGE
Jack, 22, is standing amidst fragments of shattered glass and splintered wood.
Brian enters the garage observing jack demolishing yet another picture frame, with picture still intact.
BRIAN OS
Feel better now?
JACK
No, but it’s a start. I don’t know why I even bother with these girls.
BRIAN
What happened?
JACK
Oh Elise is just stupid, that’s all. She’s too controlling … guess she’s just really insecure … really acting stupid ‘cuz I say Hi to some chick I know.
BRIAN
Who was the girl?
JACK
Can’t think of her name right now but … doesn’t matter anyway I had already decided to break it off with Elise.
BRIAN
Got someone else already in mind?
JACK
You know me. I can get any chick I want.
BRIAN
Man, wish I was like that with girls, hell; I can’t even talk to one.
JACK
(Imitating the skipper on Gilligan’s Island)
Don’t worry little buddy, ‘ole Jack here is going to take you out and show you some moves. I know a special place. Lots of babes. You’ll be good as me in no time.
(pause)
So, I take it mom let you in? (Concern showing on Jack’s face.)
BRIAN
Yeah, the dad’s gone.
(relief showing on Jack’s face)
The mom showed me in, said she was heading off to work and that you were cleaning up the garage.
(Both laugh)
JACK
Yeah, she knows better than to stick her head in when I’m working in the garage.
BRIAN
(Looking around and picking up a broken picture)
So, who’s this?
JACK
That’s Debbie, thought I’d give her another chance after I dumped Elise but she was asking all sorts of stupid questions about my not going to counseling, another stupid … I mean it’s none of her business anyway and my dad says if the court asks, he’ll tell them I couldn’t go ‘cuz I had to work helping support the family.
BRIAN
So, you got a job, great.
JACK
No, dimwit, I said that’s what my dad would tell them, you paying attention or what? Hey why don’t you make yourself useful and grab a couple of brews from the fridge?
BRIAN
(Returning with two beers from the fridge in the garage)
Here.
INT BAR, CLUB, SOME PUBLIC PLACE WHERE MEN GO TO PICK UP WOMEN,
Jack and Brian sitting at a table (fade back to expose McDonalds)
BRIAN
Now, what do I do?
JACK
How many times do I have to tell you? Go over to that chick over there…
BRIAN
Why her?
JACK
She’s obviously is in need of some male companionship and unless I’m mistaken, you are male, just what she needs.
(Smirks)
So, get over there and say your line like I told you.
BRIAN
Can I watch you do it first?
JACK
Now, that’s really stupid, I use the line on a chick, then you use the same line on the same chick, even females aren’t that stupid.
BRIAN
So, I say, “Hello beautiful, can I buy you a Coke?”
JACK
No, no, no and no, it’s “Hello beautiful, I’ll let you buy me a Coke”. You don’t go to the store, give them money and then see if there’s something worth buying … lesson number one, lesson number one, remember lesson number one?
BRIAN
Yeah, never spend your money on a girl unless you’re getting what you pay for.
(Wincing in disgust)
Got it.
INT GARAGE
Jack returning with ice in a ziplock bag he took out of the fridge in the garage
JACK
Here, put it on and hold it, I know its cold but it’ll keep the swelling down.
BRIAN
Next time don’t pick one who can hit so hard.
(Grimacing as the ice is placed on his head)
JACK
Go home and get some rest. You just need to practice that line a little, I’m telling you, it’s foolproof. It isn’t easy being me but the effort will pay off.
INT GIRLS ROOM
Clothes being picked up, looked at, sorted, hung up, taken down, tried on, just a “clothes-trying-on-fest”, getting as much cleaned up as messed up, during which, conversation ensues…
ZOEY
So, how did it go last night?
ALICE
Another chocolate bunny, but, I shall survive.
ZOEY
Chocolate what?
ALICE
Sweet and pretty but empty on the inside. Hello? Chocolate bunny? It’s ok, I met someone new anyway.
ZOEY
Since your date last night?
ALICE
Actually, yesterday, when I was coming home from class.
ZOEY
And I see you didn’t bother telling me.
ALICE
You know me; I only focus on one guy at a time. I’m loyal that way.
(Both laugh)
INT GARAGE
Both boys cleaning and straightening.
JACK’S DAD OS
(Screaming)
And when you get that mess cleaned up, get the oil changed in the truck before you go anywhere.
JACK
I’m telling you; soon I’ll have my own place and won’t have to put up with this crap…
BRIAN
(Interrupting)
So, you’ll be getting a job?
(Snickering)
JACK
Don’t start with me; you don’t want a piece of this today.
(Continuing)
It’s not my garage, it’s his, all he does is sit around in his “whitey tighties” drinking beer all day and watching TV and he expects me to clean it and keep the fridge stocked just because I’m staying here for now.
BRIAN
Well,
(hesitantly)
it is your mess…
JACK
(Cutting him off)
What’s that got to do with it? When your parents have house guests over does your mom stand at the door saying
(in a posh English accent)
“No, no, no, you cannot go until you’ve washed your cups and straightened the cushions on the couch?”
BRIAN
Good point, I’m beginning to understand.
EXT PARK BENCH
Brian sitting alone on park bench studiously writing.
ALICE OC
…so we’ll meet up later and I’ll fill you in.
ZOEY
You sure you feel safe with this guy; you know what kind of creeps you’ve met in the past.
Brian hears Zoey’s voice and begins writing furiously.
ALICE
Hey, I’m a great judge of character.
ZOEY
Oh, you find lot’s of characters to judge all right.
ALICE
I don’t see you with Prince Charming, oh wait,
(Glancing toward Brian)
slim and studious, there he is now.
Alice begins walking toward Brian.
ZOEY
What are you doing?
ALICE
I need to leave you somewhere close by and that seat is available.
Brian sees them approaching and furious turns into nervous scribbling.
ZOEY
Hey, I’ve got flyers I’m supposed to be passing out.
ALICE
So, start passing. Now, here’s your chance,
(whispering)
slut.
(smile)
ZOEY
(Facing away from Brian)
I’ll be right here if you need me.
Zoey sits down still facing away from Brian as Alice walks out of scene.
JACK (VO)
Remember Brian, girls, much like dinosaurs, have the ability to sense the slightest movement.
Brian stiffens, stops breathing and sits very still.
(beat)
Zoey straightens her skirt.
(beat)
Zoey composes herself like she’s preparing for an interview.
(beat)
Zoey straightens her stack of flyers, all business like.
(beat)
Zoey casually glances over her shoulder at Brian.
(beat)
(beat)
Zoey leans away from Brian to get a better view and looks him up and down as a devilish grin appears on her face.
(beat)
(beat)
(beat)
Brian sits, still frozen in time.
Zoey turns her body toward Brian.
(beat)
Zoey leans up from bench and looks over Brian’s shoulder, invading his personal space.
(beat)
ZOEY
So, whatchya workin on?
Brian continues to sit very still.
ZOEY
Uh, hello?
BRIAN
(Turning very slowly toward Zoey)
Uh, hi.
ZOEY
(Still in his face, almost up on one knee, grabs his notebook.)
I said “Whatchya workin on?”
(Smiling)
Zoey demurely adjusts her dress realizing the whole world just saw her business and she gets comfortable on the bench.
BRIAN
I, uh, am working on a drawing.
ZOEY
(Looking intently at the drawing, ignoring Brian’s worried face)
Don’t I know you?
BRIAN
Yeah, I, uh, we’re in the same Art class.
ZOEY
(Looking intently into Brian’s face.)
Oh, you’re the boy that sits by himself in the far corner of the room.
BRIAN
I like to keep my art to myself.
ZOEY
(Handing pad back after turning all directions trying to make sense of it)
I can understand why.
BRIAN
(Temporarily forgetting that he is talking with a girl, he loosens up a little.)
No, this is just my warming up, it doesn’t count, I’M REALLY MUCH BETTER THAN THAT.
ZOEY
(Skepticism mixed with humor.)
Oh, OK. You sure seem nervous, is it me?
BRIAN
I, uh, am just, uh, sometimes I get nervous around girls.
ZOEY
Do you want me to go?
BRIAN
No, I’m supposed to be working on a paper, having trouble getting in the mood, the doodling was just something while I was thinking about what to write.
ZOEY
What’s the paper for?
BRIAN
Psychology.
(Panic sets in as he fears where the conversation is going to go, oh life is cruel.)
ZOEY
So, what’s the paper about?
BRIAN
People’s behavior.
ZOEY
Yeah, I got that, you did say Psychology, right; I mean that pretty much sums up the whole science.
BRIAN
Well,
BRIAN (VO)
What would jack do?
BRIAN
It’s a paper about the deep and profound experience of romantic relationships.
ZOEY
(Expressionless)
Got some experience in that area.
BRIAN
(Surprised)
Uh, well, uh …
ZOEY
Maybe I can help you with that
(beat)
later…
BRIAN
Uh,
(Choking, coughing, turning bright red)
uh…
ZOEY
(continuing)
but I have to get going, oh,
(handing him a flyer)
I’d love
(deep sincere look in her eyes at the word love)
you to attend my art show. Bye.
INT GARAGE
Broken glass again with splintered wood, both boys.
JACK
I’m telling you Brian, girls just don’t get it. They think guys just have a one track mind, that all we want is sex, HELLO, so, what’s their point, I mean the Bible says to go forth and multiply, HELLO.
BRIAN
Oh, I get it. Man how come you know so much about the Bible?
JACK
I tell you Brian, the Bible’s where it’s all at. Men ruling over women, yeah that’s what it’s all about. You know Solomon was the wisest man ever, well, duh, you’d have to be to have that many wives and not kill yourself.
BRIAN
(In awe)
Wow, I didn’t realize you knew…
JACK
(continuing)
One story says where two women were fighting and he told them he’d cut their baby in half if they didn’t shut up or something like that, imagine trying to do that today.
BRIAN
Yeah, even as a joke, they’d lock you up.
JACK
You just don’t get it, Brian, he wasn’t joking, this is serious stuff the Bible.
BRIAN
(Somewhat confused)
Uh, oh,
(New thought)
I got something to tell you about.
JACK
Oh yeah?
BRIAN
Yeah, it’s about a girl.
JACK
So, you met one finally?
BRIAN
Yeah, I…
JACK
(interrupting)
So you’ve been practicing that line, eh, told you it’d work.
(Big grin)
BRIAN
Well, actually…
JACK
(interrupting)
Like I told ya Brian, it’s not easy being me but you keep practicing and you’ll have all kinds of girls, gotta go.
Jack walks out of the garage through the kitchen door, turning off the light.
Brian stands in darkness, looks directly into camera an shrugs.
GIRLS ROOM, NOW NEAT AND ORDERLY
ALICE
So, how was slim and studious?
ZOEY
(Smiling)
He might be at my showing.
ALICE
The view I had, he was already at your showing.
ZOEY
You were spying on me?
ALICE
Just keeping you in sight (and what a sight) in case I was needed.
ZOEY
(Dismissively)
Whatever, I was on a mission, a task at hand, I was being focused.
ALICE
I realize you’re almost as much a free spirit as myself, which is why we get along, but even if you don’t care who sees your business, there are times when its not wise and having your skirt hiked over your … on your knees on the park bench … it looked like a miniature Tyrannosaurus attacking it’s prey…
ZOEY
(Cutting Alice off)
What?
ALICE
Just be more mindful where you show your stuff, I feel like my mom now, ooh, but, don’t worry, no one else saw and my date was facing me.
ZOEY
Tyrannosaurus?
ALICE
(Laughing)
Attacking, for sure, but not certain if it was food.
(wink)
ZOEY
(Playfully)
But I was wearing pretty panties.
Alice just shakes her head as the scene fades.
ART SHOW
Brian wandering alone, looking at art
BRIAN
(Under his breath)
Hey beautiful, I’ll let you buy me … uh
Zoey appears out of nowhere.
ZOEY
So, now you’re art and for sale at MY SHOW?
BRIAN
Uh, uh…
GIRLS ROOM
Again we see the girls with clothes flying through the air
ALICE
What you need to do is be his practice girl.
ZOEY
Excuse me?
ALICE
Don’t get ahead of me; he is nervous around girls, right? I mean, that’s his story anyway.
(Smile)
ZOEY
Right.
(Hesitantly but interested)
ALICE
You are a girl and he sometimes talks to you.
ZOEY
O…k…
ALICE
What he needs is practice talking to girls, or in this case girl.
ZOEY
Oh, so it’s not sexual, it’s to help him overcome his shyness.
ALICE
Right,
(Finally stopping throwing clothes)
which is why you’ll be wearing this.
(Revealing the skimpiest of Alice’s skimpy)
ZOEY
What happened to the talk about my lack of modesty?
ALICE
I suggest you walk very carefully and sit properly then.
(Smile)
EXT PARK BENCH
Brian sits alone on the park bench studiously writing, this time he is actually writing.
Zoey approaches, walking very carefully a bit self-conscious, even for her lack of modesty. (As a result, she approaches the bench and sits down without being noticed.)
Camera cuts to Brian and focuses on written work, back to include head shot as Zoey’s face appears out of nowhere.
ZOEY
So,
BRIAN
Ahhhaaahhhaaa.
Brian drops everything as he jumps off the bench.
ZOEY
(Looks sheepishly cute)
Uh, whatchya workin on?
BRIAN
(One look at Zoey and Brian’s heart fails)
Uh…uh…hi.
Zoey, forgetting about modesty, begins getting up to help a flustered Brian, who, at this time, is eye level with the bench trying to pick up his stuff without being obvious about looking up Zoey’s skirt while near death.
Both continue to pick up papers till all are gathered.
BRIAN (VO)
What would jack do? What was that line, Hey beautiful…
They both sit back down. Each holds some strewn paperwork.
ZOEY
You sure it’s not me? Are you really this nervous around all the girls?
BRIAN
I just don’t have a lot of experience … uh but I am trying to get some … I mean working on … talking to girls … uh
ZOEY
What about a girlfriend?
BRIAN
No, no girlfriend.
ZOEY
You’re cute; you should have lots of girls chasing you. No one has caught your eye?
BRIAN
Well, you know…
ZOEY
(Casually looking at papers Brian dropped as she organizes them for their safe return and one stands out)
Did you write this?
(Holding up a paper)
BRIAN (VO)
What would jack do?
BRIAN
Uh,
(In total shock)
ZOEY
It’s about a girl, its sweet and, I take it, you would love to be able to talk to her?
BRIAN
Uh, yeah.
ZOEY
Ok, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll be your practice girl and you can talk to me as if I were her and … have you ever been told you just need to practice?
BRIAN
Yeah, my buddy Jack.
ZOEY
Well, you tell him that Zoey thinks he is real smart.
BRIAN
(Stuttering and in Jack’s best voice)
Hey beautiful, I’ll let you buy me a Coke.
ZOEY
(Laughing)
Oh that’s rich, how about you buy me a Coke?
BRIAN
Uh, you really are
(feeling weak)
uh, beautiful.
ZOEY
See you can do it. So what else would you say to this girl?
BRIAN
That’s the only line I know.
ZOEY
(Laughing)
Is that a line your buddy, Jack, taught you?
BRIAN
Yeah.
ZOEY
Good, good, now let’s start with conversation. Most people would start with the approach but I find lots guys approach me and don’t have anything to say. If you have something to say, then the approach is easy.
BRIAN
What would I have to say to a girl?
ZOEY
Do you ever talk to guys?
BRIAN
Well, yeah.
ZOEY
Well it’s no different, than girls. What do you talk about?
BRIAN
Parents, school, sports, current events and um girls.
ZOEY
Well, the most important thing in conversation is to listen.
BRIAN
I thought conversation was talking.
ZOEY
Conversation is actually a feedback loop. It’s like an electrical circuit, if the circuit is open, no connection, then the circuit doesn’t work. That’s like someone not hearing the other one or someone not speaking, which actually are the same thing, if you don’t hear you don’t know if they spoke.
BRIAN
Wow, that’s good; do you have an analogy for a misunderstanding?
ZOEY
Yes, I do.
(spoken with somber conviction and smiling at the phrase “I do”)
A short. If there is a short, it’s like someone jumping to conclusions instead of waiting for the person to complete expressing their though.
BRIAN
Ok, not to sound sexist, but you surprise me.
ZOEY
(Smiling)
Thanks, do you like water?
BRIAN
Water?
ZOEY
Yeah, you know, it gets you wet.
BRIAN
(Blushing)
Yeah, I love water.
ZOEY
So, you tell me the difference in the water being off and a connection being loose.
BRIAN
Well, the water being off is like not hearing/speaking and the loose connection would affect the water pressure/flow so that would be like not getting all the information which is like an incomplete circuit, I get it.
ZOEY
Good, now what happens if there’s too much electricity or if the water pressure is too high?
BRIAN
Too much information, TMI (Laughing)
ZOEY
So, male, female, young, old, education, background even prejudices impact what you should say, just be careful, you could get burnt or you could get wet.
BRIAN
Sometimes, I get shocked, other times, I drown. And if there’s not enough water or electricity, you get bored.
ZOEY
Which is exactly why guys fail when they approach me and don’t have anything to say? So, speaking of things to say, tell me about her.
BRIAN
Well she’s really sweet, smart and awfully cute, in fact, wicked cute.
ZOEY
If she were sitting here right now, what would you say to her? Remember, the goal is to keep the electricity flowing, don’t just talk but give her reason to speak and stay away from both shocking her and trying too soon to get her wet.
(Smile)
BRIAN
Well, I could ask how her day’s going.
ZOEY
Ok, well, I am the practice girl…
BRIAN
Oh, ok,
(pause)
Hi, how ya doin?
ZOEY
(Screaming uncontrollably)
Leave me alone!!!
BRIAN
(Shocked)
Uh…uh…
ZOEY
(Laughing hysterically)
Now, I just told you, you could get shocked.
BRIAN
(Pissed)
What kind of sick person are you?
(almost to tears now)
ZOEY
(Leaning over to gently caress him)
Brian, it’s ok, it was mean and I had to do it, I didn’t want to, but the bastard writing this thought it would be funny.
(beat)
Brian, if you are going to use me as a practice girl, you have to view me as having all the same possible outcomes, good and bad, as in real life.
BRIAN
Damn you feel so good.
(caressing her in response)
INT GARAGE
BRIAN
So, where’d you have to go the other day? Just leaving me in the dark?
JACK
Cute.
BRIAN
So, Jack’s got a private side?
JACK
Just had to see a man about a dog.
BRIAN
A dog, you getting a dog?
JACK
Am I telling you? Do you hear me telling you where I was? What, are you turning into some female right before my eyes, trying to keep track of me?
BRIAN
Chill, I was just asking a question, don’t get so riled up. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s cool.
(beat)
By the way, I met a girl.
JACK
Yeah, you told me already. Are you getting senile now?
BRIAN
She called and left me a message to meet her later at the Blue Parrot Cafe.
JACK
Well, isn’t that nice.
BRIAN
Oh, and she told me to tell you that she thought you were smart.
JACK
She knows me?
BRIAN
No, she just told me to tell you that.
JACK
Let me get this straight, you meet a chick and IMMEADIATLY BEGIN TALKING ABOUT ME?
BRIAN
I was practicing your line on her and …
JACK
(continuing)
My line? Then you tell her “Oh, by the way, this line sponsored by Jack, don’t you think he’s smart?”
BRIAN
That’s not how it happened…
JACK
Hey, I gotta go, I’m late already. (Door slams)
Brian is standing in the garage as the light goes off.
BLUE PARROT CAFE
Brian standing in the doorway, squinting into a darkly lit room and sees what appears to be Zoey from behind. He approaches.
BRIAN
Hey, beautiful, I’ll let you buy me a Coke.
~ZOEY
Uh, do I know you?
BRIAN
(Realizing it isn’t Zoey)
Uh, I’m sorry; I thought you were someone else.
~ZOEY
Oh, are you Brian?
BRIAN
Yeah, sorry, uh, Yeah, I’m Brian, how’d ya know?
~ZOEY
Oh, I’m Julie, nice to meet you. So you’re a friend of Zoey’s?
BRIAN
I’m a bit confused…
JULIE
(continuing)
So, you’re not a friend of Zoey’s?
BRIAN
not about being Zoey’s friend, it’s just that I thought Zoey would be here, she running late?
JULIE
No, she’s not coming.
BRIAN
She ok? Why isn’t she coming?
JULIE
She told me you were a friend of hers and to tell you that something came up and she sent me here in her place so you didn’t have to dine alone. Should I just leave?
BRIAN
No, please stay, I’m sorry, just a little surprised, that’s all.
(Sitting down)
So how are you?
JULIE
Good, you?
BRIAN
Give me a moment for my heart to begin and I’ll let you know.
JULIE
So, how do you know Zoey?
(Taking a sip)
BRIAN
(Proudly)
She’s my practice girl.
JULIE
(Spewing)
What?
BRIAN
You know, prac-tice girl, she lets me practice with her.
JULIE
(Shocked)
Ok, I’m lost. You do what?
BRIAN
I’m sometimes shy around girls and she has me practice talking to her. It’s beginning to make it easier to talk to girls, like you, for example.
JULIE
Oh.
BRIAN
What did you think I meant?
(Grinning)
JULIE
Ok, you got me. That’s really clever, and you say, its working?
BRIAN
Well, I’m here and I didn’t run or pass out.
JULIE
Surely that’s not happened before?
BRIAN
Both. So, how do you know Zoey?
JULIE
Well, since she sent me here blind and stood you up …
FADE TO BLACK
INT GARAGE
JACK
Sorry about leaving you in the dark but I didn’t want to put my mouth on it.
BRIAN
Your mouth?
JACK
I had heard about a really great job, lots of babes, pays good and pays cash, cash is always good … anyhow I didn’t want to jinx it by talking about it.
BRIAN
That’s great, where at?
JACK
That’s really all I am comfortable saying for now, cool?
BRIAN
Yeah, that’s cool, so what will you be doing?
(Laughing)
Ok, let me tell you about this chick I met, or are you going to have to mysteriously leave again?
JACK
Ok, I deserved that, tell me about the little princess.
EXT BACK DOOR, ALLEYWAY ENTRANCE
Jack stands comparing the number on the door with a flyer in his hand which reads “HELP WANTED - NUDE MODELING – PAYS CASH DAILY” (and other text non-essential to be filmed)
Jack knocks on the door. A man in his mid thirties opens the door.
MAN
Yes
JACK
(Showing flyer to man)
Hi, I’m Jack, I came about the help wanted.
MAN
(Looking him over real good)
You’ve done this type of work before?
JACK
Oh, yeah, lots.
MAN
You have to be comfortable with nudity and over 18?
JACK
Hey, we’re all born naked, right?
MAN
Well, come on in and I’ll get your information and a uniform. Sessions last about 30 minutes and you get $20.00 a session.
JACK
Sounds great, $20.00 is good.
MAN
Here’s your uniform, we don’t want you to be just walking around naked.
JACK
(Laughing)
Yeah, that wouldn’t be so cool.
MAN
(Handing Jack a robe)
Here you go,
(points to a door)
you can change in there, choose a locker for your clothes and we’ll get started.
JACK
(Takes the robe and smiles real big)
Thanks, man.
MAN
And be quick we are setting up now.
Jack follows the man to a door down the hall.
MAN
Well, I’ll let you take it from here.
(Opens the door Jack steps through to lots of light.)
Jack walks through the door bathed in light and a women’s voice comes from out of the shadows.
WOMAN
Everyone, this is Jack and he will be your model for this session. My, aren’t you a cutie? Go ahead get comfortable and remove your robe.
Jack, trying to be controlled and professional disrobes and sits on a cloth covered tree stump in the middle of a large classroom, lights from front, left and right.
Alice moves from sitting to standing and exiting room.
ALICE
(Shocked)
Excuse me.
(In a quiet voice)
Excuse me.
Jack catches a glimpse of Alice as the light from the doorway illuminates her face. Stunned, he tries to glance around the room without moving his body, he sees Brian.
Brian sits stunned, not even realizing class was over, nothing drawn on the paper, Zoey approaches.
ZOEY
Hey, Brian, you OK?
BRIAN
(Snapping out of reverie)
I saw Jack naked.
ZOEY
Yes, we all saw Jack naked.
BRIAN
No, you don’t understand, that was Jack.
ZOEY
Yes, the teacher introduced him, and yes, he was Jack.
BRIAN
Zoey, Jack was Jack. My Jack.
ZOEY
What?
BRIAN
My buddy, Jack. Why was Jack posing naked?
ZOEY
And why did Alice leave?
BRIAN
Let’s go get some answers.
Zoey and Brian exit through the door.
EXT OUTSIDE ART BUILDING
Zoey and Brian walking as Brian spots Jack.
BRIAN
I’m going to check on Jack, find Alice.
ZOEY
Good luck, see ya later.
BRIAN
(Yelling)
Jack.
JACK
(Looking up and seeing Brian approaching)
I am so stupid Brian.
BRIAN
You OK?
JACK
I thought “Nude” meant naked female, like waitress is female for waiter and actress is female for actor, you know, naked is a male without clothes and nude a female without clothes. I responded to a help wanted thinking they needed help with nude females, I thought, great.
BRIAN
(Now looking at flyer)
So, what happened? Why did you go through with it when you realized what it was?
JACK
A while back, I was seeing someone, you know, on the side.
BRIAN
While dating someone else?
JACK
Yeah, that’s what “on the side” usually means. I wanted to get serious with her and she broke it off saying that I was fun but too stupid for her to want to be with on a permanent basis. I realize now that my acting like I know everything has been a joke and she was right. I didn’t want to stand in front of everyone and admit that I didn’t know something, but it cost me my dignity.
BRIAN
Jack, you didn’t loose your dignity, modeling is a respectable profession, and you really do have a nice body, you’re in great shape
JACK
(continuing)
No, not the nudity but Alice saw me and knows that I did it not knowing what I was doing and being too stupid to admit it.
BRIAN
Alice?
JACK
Yeah, she was the one that I had been seeing, evidently she is in your art class, and she walked out when she saw me.
Camera cuts to show Zoey approaching Alice. Alice stands with her head hanging down massive tears stream down her face.
ZOEY
Hey you ok?
ALICE
God, I felt so bad for him, he is so stubborn he wouldn’t even consider saying he was wrong or was there by mistake. I couldn’t take it.
ZOEY
Jack?
ALICE
Yes, Jack. We use to date each other on the side.
ZOEY
While dating someone else?
ALICE
Yeah, that’s what “on the side” usually means.
ZOEY
You never mentioned him to me.
ALICE
Yeah, somehow “secret” and “discrete” fit into the successful execution of “on the side”.
ZOEY
Got it, so what happened to the side order of Jack?
ALICE
I thought we were moving into an area where “on the side” was turning into “main entrée”. We had been discussing moving in together and he lost his job, due to a massive plant layoff, he was loosing his apartment and I was concerned about where he was going to live.
ZOEY
Sounds like "life happens" if you ask me. So, what happened?
ALICE
He mentioned another career course and I said he needed to get special training.
(pause)
He just got all upset, walked off and wouldn’t ever talk to me again.
Split camera as both couples walk into corner shot.
Both Alice and Jack start when they see each other.
Zoey and Brian stand very still, waiting to see what will happen.
JACK
Hi.
ALICE
Hi.
JACK
I’ve missed you.
ALICE
Me, you, too.
Jack moves toward Alice and they embrace.
BRIAN
(To Zoey)
Hello beautiful, I’ll let you buy me a Coke
ZOEY
(Smiles)
Winter Spring Summer or Fall (renamed in honor of James Taylor)
...THINK
walk toward the light
While in Vegas, I saw my first Harajuku person, absolutely beautiful, I've decided to open up my photography to Harajuku, cosplay and all the different directions fashion is going. (Well, being open to photography does NOT equate success, I will try.)
ballet class - normal lighting
ballet class - black light
Black light effects are shown in this painting which is the same as the one above only photographed in black light.
