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Subject: the practice girl -- read it and let me know what you think so far

















































“THE PRACTICE GIRL”













Written by





Karl August

and

Brian Sanders





































































[Company Name]

FIRST DRAFT





[Address Street]

3/31/2009





[City, Province, Postal Code]









[Telephone]

















"THE PRACTICE GIRL"

BLACK CARD





FADE IN:





INT ART CLASSROOM

College students are filing in finding seats among a disarray of easels and desk chairs.

Among the group filing in are Alice and Zoey, deep in quiet conversation.

In the background of the mélange, Brian slips in through the door and sidles around the back of the room to the most distant chair available, far from Alice, Zoey and the gaggle of guys trying to sit close to them.

ALICE

(To Zoey)

I see “slim and studious” just refuses to pay you court.

ZOEY

(To Alice with a quick glance toward Brian)

(Delivered in her best southern accent)

Whatever are you talking about?

ALICE

Uh huh, and you think it’s shyness?

ZOEY

(Somewhat nervously)

I just don’t think he’s interested, that’s all.

ALICE

He’s male, so he’s either gay or interested.

ZOEY

Ok, so he’s gay. But definitely NOT interested.

ALICE

He’s not gay, he doesn’t dress that well.

ZOEY

He dresses nice enough.

ALICE

The only area I’ve found gays to be prejudice in is fashion, and he’s NOT gay. Gay men don’t go out of their way to avoid you, they embrace you. In fact,

(glancing at the group – gay and straight- surrounding Zoey)

they are like scavenger dogs hoping for seconds on your leftovers.

ZOEY

Whatever.

ALICE

So, either you have done something to make him really hate you, or it’s love.

ZOEY

He doesn’t even know me.

ALICE

True, so that rules out possibility number 1. Could be, he’s not the only one with a “schoolgirl” crush.

ZOEY

(Blushing wildly)

He is kinda cute.

(Smiling)

Art teacher approaches the front of the room. Class quiets.

TEACHER

As I told you earlier in the year, we will be drawing live nudes. I realize there is a room full of college students and I am embarrassed to have to mention this but the school requires two things. First, if any of you object or fear you would be offended, or you wish to pose, you may excuse yourself from those class periods and the grade will not be averaged into your final grade. Second, please keep in mind that, for the most part, these are professional models, please, treat them with respect.

ZOEY

(Leaning toward Alice)

Here’s your chance,

(whispering)

slut.

(smile)





INT GIRLS ROOM

Opening sequence shows clothes flying and a frantic Alice trying to find something to wear. Finally, Alice emerges dressed.

ZOEY (OS)

Oh no, you are not wearing that

ALICE

Why, isn’t it cute enough?

ZOEY

Ok, you just met this guy and

(pause)

no need for conversation; why not just invite him back to your room and save the suspense?

ALICE

Gotcha!

(as in “ha ha”, not as in “I understand”)

Alice begins pulling on a pair of jeans underneath an extremely short skirt while giving Zoey a very wicked smile.

ALICE

(Alice laughs)

Zoey grabs the nearest pillow and hurls it towards Alice knocking over and nearly breaking a lamp.

ZOEY

You are incorrigible.

(Glancing at her watch, indifferent to the near destruction of the lamp)

If you want to meet him then you’d better get going.

ALICE

We

ZOEY

We? We what?

ALICE

Well you are at least going to walk me over there; it will give you a chance to pass out some flyers for your art,

(pause, repeating with the air quotes)

art show.





INT HALLWAY





Camera movement as if walking down the hall loud banging and muffled cursing, followed by sounds of broken glass.

Camera perspective moves from kitchen to garage.

INT GARAGE

Jack, 22, is standing amidst fragments of shattered glass and splintered wood.

Brian enters the garage observing jack demolishing yet another picture frame, with picture still intact.





BRIAN OS

Feel better now?

JACK

No, but it’s a start. I don’t know why I even bother with these girls.

BRIAN

What happened?

JACK

Oh Elise is just stupid, that’s all. She’s too controlling … guess she’s just really insecure … really acting stupid ‘cuz I say Hi to some chick I know.

BRIAN

Who was the girl?

JACK

Can’t think of her name right now but … doesn’t matter anyway I had already decided to break it off with Elise.

BRIAN

Got someone else already in mind?

JACK

You know me. I can get any chick I want.

BRIAN

Man, wish I was like that with girls, hell; I can’t even talk to one.

JACK





(Imitating the skipper on Gilligan’s Island)

Don’t worry little buddy, ‘ole Jack here is going to take you out and show you some moves. I know a special place. Lots of babes. You’ll be good as me in no time.

(pause)

So, I take it mom let you in? (Concern showing on Jack’s face.)

BRIAN

Yeah, the dad’s gone.

(relief showing on Jack’s face)

The mom showed me in, said she was heading off to work and that you were cleaning up the garage.

(Both laugh)

JACK

Yeah, she knows better than to stick her head in when I’m working in the garage.

BRIAN

(Looking around and picking up a broken picture)

So, who’s this?

JACK

That’s Debbie, thought I’d give her another chance after I dumped Elise but she was asking all sorts of stupid questions about my not going to counseling, another stupid … I mean it’s none of her business anyway and my dad says if the court asks, he’ll tell them I couldn’t go ‘cuz I had to work helping support the family.

BRIAN

So, you got a job, great.

JACK

No, dimwit, I said that’s what my dad would tell them, you paying attention or what? Hey why don’t you make yourself useful and grab a couple of brews from the fridge?

BRIAN

(Returning with two beers from the fridge in the garage)

Here.

INT BAR, CLUB, SOME PUBLIC PLACE WHERE MEN GO TO PICK UP WOMEN,

Jack and Brian sitting at a table (fade back to expose McDonalds)

BRIAN

Now, what do I do?

JACK

How many times do I have to tell you? Go over to that chick over there…

BRIAN

Why her?

JACK

She’s obviously is in need of some male companionship and unless I’m mistaken, you are male, just what she needs.

(Smirks)

So, get over there and say your line like I told you.

BRIAN

Can I watch you do it first?

JACK

Now, that’s really stupid, I use the line on a chick, then you use the same line on the same chick, even females aren’t that stupid.

BRIAN

So, I say, “Hello beautiful, can I buy you a Coke?”

JACK

No, no, no and no, it’s “Hello beautiful, I’ll let you buy me a Coke”. You don’t go to the store, give them money and then see if there’s something worth buying … lesson number one, lesson number one, remember lesson number one?

BRIAN

Yeah, never spend your money on a girl unless you’re getting what you pay for.

(Wincing in disgust)

Got it.

INT GARAGE

Jack returning with ice in a ziplock bag he took out of the fridge in the garage

JACK

Here, put it on and hold it, I know its cold but it’ll keep the swelling down.

BRIAN

Next time don’t pick one who can hit so hard.

(Grimacing as the ice is placed on his head)

JACK

Go home and get some rest. You just need to practice that line a little, I’m telling you, it’s foolproof. It isn’t easy being me but the effort will pay off.

INT GIRLS ROOM

Clothes being picked up, looked at, sorted, hung up, taken down, tried on, just a “clothes-trying-on-fest”, getting as much cleaned up as messed up, during which, conversation ensues…





ZOEY

So, how did it go last night?

ALICE

Another chocolate bunny, but, I shall survive.

ZOEY

Chocolate what?

ALICE

Sweet and pretty but empty on the inside. Hello? Chocolate bunny? It’s ok, I met someone new anyway.

ZOEY

Since your date last night?

ALICE

Actually, yesterday, when I was coming home from class.

ZOEY

And I see you didn’t bother telling me.

ALICE

You know me; I only focus on one guy at a time. I’m loyal that way.





(Both laugh)

INT GARAGE

Both boys cleaning and straightening.

JACK’S DAD OS

(Screaming)

And when you get that mess cleaned up, get the oil changed in the truck before you go anywhere.

JACK

I’m telling you; soon I’ll have my own place and won’t have to put up with this crap…

BRIAN

(Interrupting)

So, you’ll be getting a job?

(Snickering)

JACK

Don’t start with me; you don’t want a piece of this today.

(Continuing)

It’s not my garage, it’s his, all he does is sit around in his “whitey tighties” drinking beer all day and watching TV and he expects me to clean it and keep the fridge stocked just because I’m staying here for now.

BRIAN

Well,

(hesitantly)

it is your mess…

JACK

(Cutting him off)

What’s that got to do with it? When your parents have house guests over does your mom stand at the door saying

(in a posh English accent)

“No, no, no, you cannot go until you’ve washed your cups and straightened the cushions on the couch?”

BRIAN

Good point, I’m beginning to understand.

EXT PARK BENCH

Brian sitting alone on park bench studiously writing.

ALICE OC

…so we’ll meet up later and I’ll fill you in.

ZOEY

You sure you feel safe with this guy; you know what kind of creeps you’ve met in the past.

Brian hears Zoey’s voice and begins writing furiously.

ALICE

Hey, I’m a great judge of character.

ZOEY

Oh, you find lot’s of characters to judge all right.

ALICE

I don’t see you with Prince Charming, oh wait,

(Glancing toward Brian)

slim and studious, there he is now.

Alice begins walking toward Brian.

ZOEY

What are you doing?

ALICE

I need to leave you somewhere close by and that seat is available.

Brian sees them approaching and furious turns into nervous scribbling.

ZOEY

Hey, I’ve got flyers I’m supposed to be passing out.

ALICE

So, start passing. Now, here’s your chance,

(whispering)

slut.

(smile)

ZOEY

(Facing away from Brian)

I’ll be right here if you need me.

Zoey sits down still facing away from Brian as Alice walks out of scene.

JACK (VO)

Remember Brian, girls, much like dinosaurs, have the ability to sense the slightest movement.

Brian stiffens, stops breathing and sits very still.

(beat)

Zoey straightens her skirt.

(beat)

Zoey composes herself like she’s preparing for an interview.

(beat)

Zoey straightens her stack of flyers, all business like.

(beat)

Zoey casually glances over her shoulder at Brain.

(beat)

(beat)

Zoey leans away from Brian to get a better view and looks him up and down as a devilish grin appears on her face.

(beat)

(beat)

(beat)

Brian sits, still frozen in time.

Zoey turns her body toward Brian.

(beat)

Zoey leans up from bench and looks over Brian’s shoulder, invading his personal space.

(beat)

ZOEY

So, whatchya workin on?

Brian continues to sit very still.

ZOEY

Uh, hello?

BRIAN

(Turning very slowly toward Zoey)

Uh, hi.

ZOEY

(Still in his face, almost up on one knee, grabs his notebook.)

I said “Whatchya workin on?”

(Smiling)

Zoey demurely adjusts her dress realizing the whole world just saw her business and she gets comfortable on the bench.

BRIAN

I, uh, am working on a drawing.

ZOEY

(Looking intently at the drawing, ignoring Brian’s worried face)

Don’t I know you?

BRIAN

Yeah, I, uh, we’re in the same Art class.

ZOEY

(Looking intently into Brian’s face.)

Oh, you’re the boy that sits by himself in the far corner of the room.

BRIAN

I like to keep my art to myself.

ZOEY

(Handing pad back after turning all directions trying to make sense of it)

I can understand why.

BRIAN

(Temporarily forgetting that he is talking with a girl, he loosens up a little.)

No, this is just my warming up, it doesn’t count, I’M REALLY MUCH BETTER THAN THAT.

ZOEY

(Skepticism mixed with humor.)

Oh, OK. You sure seem nervous, is it me?

BRIAN

I, uh, am just, uh, sometimes I get nervous around girls.

ZOEY

Do you want me to go?

BRIAN

No, I’m supposed to be working on a paper, having trouble getting in the mood, the doodling was just something while I was thinking about what to write.

ZOEY

What’s the paper for?

BRIAN

Psychology.

(Panic sets in as he fears where the conversation is going to go, oh life is cruel.)

ZOEY

So, what’s the paper about?

BRIAN

People’s behavior.

ZOEY

Yeah, I got that, you did say Psychology, right; I mean that pretty much sums up the whole science.

BRIAN

Well,

BRIAN (VO)

What would jack do?

BRIAN

It’s a paper about the deep and profound experience of romantic relationships.

ZOEY

(Expressionless)

Got some experience in that area.

BRIAN

(Surprised)

Uh, well, uh …

ZOEY

Maybe I can help you with that

(beat)

later…

BRIAN

Uh,

(Choking, coughing, turning bright red)

uh…

ZOEY

(continuing)

but I have to get going, oh,

(handing him a flyer)

I’d love

(deep sincere look in her eyes at the word love)

you to attend my art show. Bye.

INT GARAGE

Broken glass again with splintered wood, both boys.

JACK

I’m telling you Brian, girls just don’t get it. They think guys just have a one track mind, that all we want is sex, HELLO, so, what’s their point, I mean the Bible says to go forth and multiply, HELLO.

BRIAN

Oh, I get it. Man how come you know so much about the Bible?

JACK

I tell you Brian, the Bible’s where it’s all at. Men ruling over women, yeah that’s what it’s all about. You know Solomon was the wisest man ever, well, duh, you’d have to be to have that many wives and not kill yourself.

BRIAN

(In awe)

Wow, I didn’t realize you knew…

JACK

(continuing)

One story says where two women were fighting and he told them he’d cut their baby in half if they didn’t shut up or something like that, imagine trying to do that today.

BRIAN

Yeah, even as a joke, they’d lock you up.

JACK

You just don’t get it, Brian, he wasn’t joking, this is serious stuff the Bible.

BRIAN

(Somewhat confused)

Uh, oh,

(New thought)

I got something to tell you about.

JACK

Oh yeah?

BRIAN

Yeah, it’s about a girl.

JACK

So, you met one finally?

BRIAN

Yeah, I…

JACK

(interrupting)

So you’ve been practicing that line, eh, told you it’d work.

(Big grin)

BRIAN

Well, actually…

JACK

(interrupting)

Like I told ya Brian, it’s not easy being me but you keep practicing and you’ll have all kinds of girls, gotta go.

Jack walks out of the garage through the kitchen door, turning off the light.

Brian stands in darkness, looks directly into camera an shrugs.

GIRLS ROOM, NOW NEAT AND ORDERLY

ALICE

So, how was slim and studious?

ZOEY

(Smiling)

He might be at my showing.

ALICE

The view I had, he was already at your showing.

ZOEY

You were spying on me?

ALICE

Just keeping you in sight (and what a sight) in case I was needed.

ZOEY

(Dismissively)

Whatever, I was on a mission, a task at hand, I was being focused.

ALICE

I realize you’re almost as much a free spirit as myself, which is why we get along, but even if you don’t care who sees your business, there are times when its not wise and having your skirt hiked over your … on your knees on the park bench … it looked like a miniature Tyrannosaurus attacking it’s prey…

ZOEY

(Cutting Alice off)

What?

ALICE

Just be more mindful where you show your stuff, I feel like my mom now, ooh, but, don’t worry, no one else saw and my date was facing me.

ZOEY

Tyrannosaurus?

ALICE

(Laughing)

Attacking, for sure, but not certain if it was food.

(wink)

ZOEY

(Playfully)

But I was wearing pretty panties.

Alice just shakes her head as the scene fades.





ART SHOW

Brian wandering alone, looking at art

BRIAN

(Under his breath)

Hey beautiful, I’ll let you buy me … uh

Zoey appears out of nowhere.

ZOEY

So, now you’re art and for sale at MY SHOW?

BRIAN

Uh, uh…

GIRLS ROOM

Again we see the girls with clothes flying through the air

ALICE

What you need to do is be his practice girl.

ZOEY

Excuse me?

ALICE

Don’t get ahead of me; he is nervous around girls, right? I mean, that’s his story anyway.

(Smile)

ZOEY

Right.

(Hesitantly but interested)

ALICE

You are a girl and he sometimes talks to you.

ZOEY

O…k…

ALICE

What he needs is practice talking to girls, or in this case girl.

ZOEY

Oh, so it’s not sexual, it’s to help him overcome his shyness.

ALICE

Right,

(Finally stopping throwing clothes)

which is why you’ll be wearing this.

(Revealing the skimpiest of Alice’s skimpy)

ZOEY

What happened to the talk about my lack of modesty?

ALICE

I suggest you walk very carefully and sit properly then.

(Smile)

EXT PARK BENCH

Brian sits alone on the park bench studiously writing, this time he is actually writing.

Zoey approaches, walking very carefully a bit self-conscious, even for her lack of modesty. (As a result, she approaches the bench and sits down without being noticed.)

Camera cuts to Brian and focuses on written work, back to include head shot as Zoey’s face appears out of nowhere.

ZOEY

So,

BRIAN

Ahhhaaahhhaaa.

Brian drops everything as he jumps off the bench.

ZOEY

(Looks sheepishly cute)

Uh, whatchya workin on?

BRIAN

(One look at Zoey and Brian’s heart fails)

Uh…uh…hi.

Zoey, forgetting about modesty, begins getting up to help a flustered Brian, who, at this time, is eye level with the bench trying to pick up his stuff without being obvious about looking up Zoey’s skirt while near death.

Both continue to pick up papers till all are gathered.

BRIAN (VO)

What would jack do? What was that line, Hey beautiful…

They both sit back down. Each holds some strewn paperwork.

ZOEY

You sure it’s not me? Are you really this nervous around all the girls?

BRIAN

I just don’t have a lot of experience … uh but I am trying to get some … I mean working on … talking to girls … uh

ZOEY

What about a girlfriend?

BRIAN

No, no girlfriend.

ZOEY

You’re cute; you should have lots of girls chasing you. No one has caught your eye?

BRIAN

Well, you know…

ZOEY

(Casually looking at papers Brian dropped as she organizes them for their safe return and one stands out)

Did you write this?

(Holding up a paper)

BRIAN (VO)

What would jack do?

BRIAN

Uh,

(In total shock)

ZOEY

It’s about a girl, its sweet and, I take it, you would love to be able to talk to her?

BRIAN

Uh, yeah.

ZOEY

Ok, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll be your practice girl and you can talk to me as if I were her and … have you ever been told you just need to practice?

BRIAN

Yeah, my buddy Jack.

ZOEY

Well, you tell him that Zoey thinks he is real smart.

BRIAN

(Stuttering and in Jack’s best voice)

Hey beautiful, I’ll let you buy me a Coke.

ZOEY

(Laughing)

Oh that’s rich, how about you buy me a Coke?

BRIAN

Uh, you really are

(feeling weak)

uh, beautiful.

ZOEY

See you can do it. So what else would you say to this girl?

BRIAN

That’s the only line I know.

ZOEY

(Laughing)

Is that a line your buddy, Jack, taught you?

BRIAN

Yeah.

ZOEY

Good, good, now let’s start with conversation. Most people would start with the approach but I find lots guys approach me and don’t have anything to say. If you have something to say, then the approach is easy.

BRIAN

What would I have to say to a girl?

ZOEY

Do you ever talk to guys?

BRIAN

Well, yeah.

ZOEY

Well it’s no different, than girls. What do you talk about?

BRIAN

Parents, school, sports, current events and um girls.

ZOEY

Well, the most important thing in conversation is to listen.

BRIAN

I thought conversation was talking.

ZOEY

Conversation is actually a feedback loop. It’s like an electrical circuit, if the circuit is open, no connection, then the circuit doesn’t work. That’s like someone not hearing the other one or someone not speaking, which actually are the same thing, if you don’t hear you don’t know if they spoke.

BRIAN

Wow, that’s good; do you have an analogy for a misunderstanding?

ZOEY

Yes, I do.

(spoken with somber conviction and smiling at the phrase “I do”)

A short. If there is a short, it’s like someone jumping to conclusions instead of waiting for the person to complete expressing their though.

BRIAN

Ok, not to sound sexist, but you surprise me.

ZOEY

(Smiling)

Thanks, do you like water?

BRIAN

Water?

ZOEY

Yeah, you know, it gets you wet.

BRIAN

(Blushing)

Yeah, I love water.

ZOEY

So, you tell me the difference in the water being off and a connection being loose.

BRIAN

Well, the water being off is like not hearing/speaking and the loose connection would affect the water pressure/flow so that would be like not getting all the information which is like an incomplete circuit, I get it.

ZOEY

Good, now what happens if there’s too much electricity or if the water pressure is too high?

BRIAN

Too much information, TMI (Laughing)

ZOEY

So, male, female, young, old, education, background even prejudices impact what you should say, just be careful, you could get burnt or you could get wet.

BRIAN

Sometimes, I get shocked, other times, I drown. And if there’s not enough water or electricity, you get bored.

ZOEY

Which is exactly why guys fail when they approach me and don’t have anything to say? So, speaking of things to say, tell me about her.

BRIAN

Well she’s really sweet, smart and awfully cute, in fact, wicked cute.

ZOEY

If she were sitting here right now, what would you say to her? Remember, the goal is to keep the electricity flowing, don’t just talk but give her reason to speak and stay away from both shocking her and trying too soon to get her wet.

(Smile)

BRIAN

Well, I could ask how her day’s going.

ZOEY

Ok, well, I am the practice girl…

BRIAN

Oh, ok,

(pause)

Hi, how ya doin?

ZOEY

(Screaming uncontrollably)

Leave me alone!!!

BRIAN

(Shocked)

Uh…uh…

ZOEY

(Laughing hysterically)

Now, I just told you, you could get shocked.

BRIAN

(Pissed)

What kind of sick person are you?

(almost to tears now)

ZOEY

(Leaning over to gently caress him)

Brian, it’s ok, it was mean and I had to do it, I didn’t want to, but the bastard writing this thought it would be funny.

(beat)

Brian, if you are going to use me as a practice girl, you have to view me as having all the same possible outcomes, good and bad, as in real life.

BRIAN

Damn you feel so good.

(caressing her in response)

INT GARAGE

BRIAN

So, where’d you have to go the other day? Just leaving me in the dark?

JACK

Cute.

BRIAN

So, Jack’s got a private side?

JACK

Just had to see a man about a dog.

BRIAN

A dog, you getting a dog?

JACK

Am I telling you? Do you hear me telling you where I was? What, are you turning into some female right before my eyes, trying to keep track of me?

BRIAN

Chill, I was just asking a question, don’t get so riled up. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s cool.

(beat)

By the way, I met a girl.

JACK

Yeah, you told me already. Are you getting senile now?

BRIAN

She called and left me a message to meet her later at the Blue Parrot Cafe.

JACK

Well, isn’t that nice.

BRIAN

Oh, and she told me to tell you that she thought you were smart.

JACK

She knows me?

BRIAN

No, she just told me to tell you that.

JACK

Let me get this straight, you meet a chick and IMMEADIATLY BEGIN TALKING ABOUT ME?

BRIAN

I was practicing your line on her and …

JACK

(continuing)

My line? Then you tell her “Oh, by the way, this line sponsored by Jack, don’t you think he’s smart?”

BRIAN

That’s not how it happened…

JACK

Hey, I gotta go, I’m late already. (Door slams)

Brian is standing in the garage as the light goes off.

BLUE PARROT CAFE

Brian standing in the doorway, squinting into a darkly lit room and sees what appears to be Zoey from behind. He approaches.

BRIAN

Hey, beautiful, I’ll let you buy me a Coke.

~ZOEY

Uh, do I know you?

BRIAN

(Realizing it isn’t Zoey)

Uh, I’m sorry; I thought you were someone else.

~ZOEY

Oh, are you Brian?

BRIAN

Yeah, sorry, uh, Yeah, I’m Brian, how’d ya know?

~ZOEY

Oh, I’m Julie, nice to meet you. So you’re a friend of Zoey’s?

BRIAN

I’m a bit confused…

JULIE

(continuing)

So, you’re not a friend of Zoey’s?

BRIAN

not about being Zoey’s friend, it’s just that I thought Zoey would be here, she running late?

JULIE

No, she’s not coming.

BRIAN

She ok? Why isn’t she coming?

JULIE

She told me you were a friend of hers and to tell you that something came up and she sent me here in her place so you didn’t have to dine alone. Should I just leave?

BRIAN

No, please stay, I’m sorry, just a little surprised, that’s all.

(Sitting down)

So how are you?

JULIE

Good, you?

BRIAN

Give me a moment for my heart to begin and I’ll let you know.

JULIE

So, how do you know Zoey?

(Taking a sip)

BRIAN

(Proudly)

She’s my practice girl.

JULIE

(Spewing)

What?

BRIAN

You know, prac-tice girl, she lets me practice with her.

JULIE

(Shocked)

Ok, I’m lost. You do what?

BRIAN

I’m sometimes shy around girls and she has me practice talking to her. It’s beginning to make it easier to talk to girls, like you, for example.

JULIE

Oh.

BRIAN

What did you think I meant?

(Grinning)

JULIE

Ok, you got me. That’s really clever, and you say, its working?

BRIAN

Well, I’m here and I didn’t run or pass out.

JULIE

Surely that’s not happened before?

BRIAN

Both. So, how do you know Zoey?

JULIE

Well, since she sent me here blind and stood you up …

FADE TO BLACK

INT GARAGE

JACK

Sorry about leaving you in the dark but I didn’t want to put my mouth on it.

BRIAN

Your mouth?

JACK

I had heard about a really great job, lots of babes, pays good and pays cash, cash is always good … anyhow I didn’t want to jinx it by talking about it.

BRIAN

That’s great, where at?

JACK

That’s really all I am comfortable saying for now, cool?

BRIAN

Yeah, that’s cool, so what will you be doing?

(Laughing)

Ok, let me tell you about this chick I met, or are you going to have to mysteriously leave again?

JACK

Ok, I deserved that, tell me about the little princess.

EXT BACK DOOR, ALLEYWAY ENTRANCE

Jack stands comparing the number on the door with a flyer in his hand which reads “HELP WANTED - NUDE MODELING – PAYS CASH DAILY” (and other text non-essential to be filmed)

Jack knocks on the door. A man in his mid thirties opens the door.

MAN

Yes

JACK

(Showing flyer to man)

Hi, I’m Jack, I came about the help wanted.

MAN

(Looking him over real good)

You’ve done this type of work before?

JACK

Oh, yeah, lots.

MAN

You have to be comfortable with nudity and over 18?

JACK

Hey, we’re all born naked, right?

MAN

Well, come on in and I’ll get your information and a uniform. Sessions last about 30 minutes and you get $20.00 a session.

JACK

Sounds great, $20.00 is good.

MAN

Here’s your uniform, we don’t want you to be just walking around naked.

JACK

(Laughing)

Yeah, that wouldn’t be so cool.

MAN

(Handing Jack a robe)

Here you go,

(points to a door)

you can change in there, choose a locker for your clothes and we’ll get started.

JACK

(Takes the robe and smiles real big)

Thanks, man.

MAN

And be quick we are setting up now.

Jack follows the man to a door down the hall.

MAN

Well, I’ll let you take it from here.

(Opens the door Jack steps through to lots of light.)

Jack walks through the door bathed in light and a women’s voice comes from out of the shadows.

WOMAN

Everyone, this is Jack and he will be your model for this session. My, aren’t you a cutie? Go ahead get comfortable and remove your robe.

Jack, trying to be controlled and professional disrobes and sits on a cloth covered tree stump in the middle of a large classroom, lights from front, left and right.

Alice moves from sitting to standing and exiting room.

ALICE

(Shocked)

Excuse me.

(In a quiet voice)

Excuse me.

Jack catches a glimpse of Alice as the light from the doorway illuminates her face. Stunned, he tries to glance around the room without moving his body, he sees Brian.

Brian sits stunned, not even realizing class was over, nothing drawn on the paper, Zoey approaches.

ZOEY

Hey, Brian, you OK?

BRIAN

(Snapping out of reverie)

I saw Jack naked.

ZOEY

Yes, we all saw Jack naked.

BRIAN

No, you don’t understand, that was Jack.

ZOEY

Yes, the teacher introduced him, and yes, he was Jack.

BRIAN

Zoey, Jack was Jack. My Jack.

ZOEY

What?

BRIAN

My buddy, Jack. Why was Jack posing naked?

ZOEY

And why did Alice leave?

BRIAN

Let’s go get some answers.

Zoey and Brian exit through the door.

EXT OUTSIDE ART BUILDING

Zoey and Brian walking as Brian spots Jack.

BRIAN

I’m going to check on Jack, find Alice.

ZOEY

Good luck, see ya later.

BRIAN

(Yelling)

Jack.

JACK

(Looking up and seeing Brian approaching)

I am so stupid Brian.

BRIAN

You OK?

JACK

I thought “Nude” meant naked female, like waitress is female for waiter and actress is female for actor, you know, naked is a male without clothes and nude a female without clothes. I responded to a help wanted thinking they needed help with nude females, I thought, great.

BRIAN

(Now looking at flyer)

So, what happened? Why did you go through with it when you realized what it was?

JACK

A while back, I was seeing someone, you know, on the side.

BRIAN

While dating someone else?

JACK

Yeah, that’s what “on the side” usually means. I wanted to get serious with her and she broke it off saying that I was fun but too stupid for her to want to be with on a permanent basis. I realize now that my acting like I know everything has been a joke and she was right. I didn’t want to stand in front of everyone and admit that I didn’t know something, but it cost me my dignity.

BRIAN

Jack, you didn’t loose your dignity, modeling is a respectable profession, and you really do have a nice body, you’re in great shape

JACK

(continuing)

No, not the nudity but Alice saw me and knows that I did it not knowing what I was doing and being too stupid to admit it.

BRIAN

Alice?

JACK

Yeah, she was the one that I had been seeing, evidently she is in your art class, and she walked out when she saw me.

Camera cuts to show Zoey approaching Alice. Alice stands with her head hanging down massive tears stream down her face.

ZOEY

Hey you ok?

ALICE

God, I felt so bad for him, he is so stubborn he wouldn’t even consider saying he was wrong or was there by mistake. I couldn’t take it.

ZOEY

Jack?

ALICE

Yes, Jack. We use to date each other on the side.

ZOEY

While dating someone else?

ALICE

Yeah, that’s what “on the side” usually means.

ZOEY

You never mentioned him to me.

ALICE

Yeah, somehow “secret” and “discrete” fit into the successful execution of “on the side”.

ZOEY

Got it, so what happened to the side order of Jack?

ALICE

I thought we were moving into an area where “on the side” was turning into “main entrée”. We had been discussing moving in together and he lost his job, due to a massive plant layoff, he was loosing his apartment and I was concerned about where he was going to live.

ZOEY

Sounds like "life happens" if you ask me. So, what happened?

ALICE

He mentioned another career course and I said he needed to get special training.

(pause)

He just got all upset, walked off and wouldn’t ever talk to me again.

Split camera as both couples walk into corner shot.

Both Alice and Jack start when they see each other.

Zoey and Brain stand very still, waiting to see what will happen.

JACK

Hi.

ALICE

Hi.

JACK

I’ve missed you.

ALICE

Me, you, too.

Jack moves toward Alice and they embrace.

BRIAN

(To Zoey)

Hello beautiful, I’ll let you buy me a Coke

ZOEY

(Smiles)





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